I'm not a person that thinks she should preach to others, but I am a person that is asked "advice" a lot and I am more than happy to give it when needed... certain things though... Cannot be fixed unless the person fixes self internally.
A couple... Been together for as long as they can remember as far as one knows about the other there are no infidelity cards that were played... So why is it that one of the parties is constantly accusing the other of doing such a thing? I used to think it was solely based on the saying, "you go accusing someone of cheating or looking to catch them its probably because you are up to know good yourself". That is not always true. The question will always remain the same for me. Why go look? What is so important to "find out" and to constantly look for when you never had a reason to look in the first place? Have you caught that person doing something that they should never be forgiven for? Have they even given you anything to go on? No? OH....
Whenever I think about or hear about an insecure person I always assume their background will tell the story. A background story should never be the "excuse" but it does make it more understandable... Yet and still... what is the point of being with someone who you cant/don't trust?? What exactly are you gaining? Is it out of being comfortable?
Maybe you are so used to someone doing you wrong and not trusting people that you look so you can be justified by some disgusting demented pleasure as to say "aha, i knew you were just like the rest? Maybe?
At this point, here is my opinion on infidelity...
What is done in the dark ALWAYS comes to light. Don't go looking for anything. Let the stuff fall right in your lap and then you deal with it accordingly. I wouldn't freak out and go crazy either. Give the person a chance to explain and be honest (do not say anything to your partner until you have cold hard facts and possibly seen something that you can quote word for word or explain exactly what was seen) People tend to get scared when you are calm as opposed to irrational and angry. You attract more bees with honey than with vinegar. Once the person explains then you can decide whether or not they are worth the time and effort to work things out... To just go looking just because however, is another story.
A relationship is based on trust and communication. If you cannot trust a person how could you possible stay in a relationship with them? What are you gaining? Why invade someone's privacy? Yes, in a relationship there is still privacy. One does not need to know the other's passwords and it is not a rule that one knows the other.
I feel like... If you cant trust your relationship and you don't even know why then you probably don't trust yourself. Maybe you should try being single and finding yourself and getting rid of the turmoil within yourself before you get in a relationship and reek havoc in someone else's life... That's just rude.
"All I need is a partner
to play spades with the cards up, ALL TRUST"
Whenever I think about or hear about an insecure person I always assume their background will tell the story. A background story should never be the "excuse" but it does make it more understandable... Yet and still... what is the point of being with someone who you cant/don't trust?? What exactly are you gaining? Is it out of being comfortable?
Maybe you are so used to someone doing you wrong and not trusting people that you look so you can be justified by some disgusting demented pleasure as to say "aha, i knew you were just like the rest? Maybe?
At this point, here is my opinion on infidelity...
What is done in the dark ALWAYS comes to light. Don't go looking for anything. Let the stuff fall right in your lap and then you deal with it accordingly. I wouldn't freak out and go crazy either. Give the person a chance to explain and be honest (do not say anything to your partner until you have cold hard facts and possibly seen something that you can quote word for word or explain exactly what was seen) People tend to get scared when you are calm as opposed to irrational and angry. You attract more bees with honey than with vinegar. Once the person explains then you can decide whether or not they are worth the time and effort to work things out... To just go looking just because however, is another story.
A relationship is based on trust and communication. If you cannot trust a person how could you possible stay in a relationship with them? What are you gaining? Why invade someone's privacy? Yes, in a relationship there is still privacy. One does not need to know the other's passwords and it is not a rule that one knows the other.
I feel like... If you cant trust your relationship and you don't even know why then you probably don't trust yourself. Maybe you should try being single and finding yourself and getting rid of the turmoil within yourself before you get in a relationship and reek havoc in someone else's life... That's just rude.
"All I need is a partner
to play spades with the cards up, ALL TRUST"
A-friggin-men!!! This needs to be read and taken into heart by a lot of women!! We are always gettin on dude )most times for good reason) but as women we rarely look in the mirror and see the things we do to undermine a relationship.
ReplyDeleteWhat I don't get is chicks make a full-time job out of snooping on a dude. Why!?! Like you said a relationship is based on trust. So if there is none, then why even be with dude-regardless of whether u find evidence of cheating or not, apparently there's already something wrong if u feel u need to snoop in the first place!
You're so right!
ReplyDelete