With the cards up ALL TRUST....

So.. You are with this person and everything seems great from the outside looking in. Some might even be jealous of the relationship that you and your partner have... Walk with me as I explore what may REALLY be going on and how it can possibly be avoided....

I'm not a person that thinks she should preach to others, but I am a person that is asked "advice" a lot and I am more than happy to give it when needed... certain things though... Cannot be fixed unless the person fixes self internally. 

A couple... Been together for as long as they can remember as far as one knows about the other there are no infidelity cards that were played... So why is it that one of the parties is constantly accusing the other of doing such a thing? I used to think it was solely based on the saying, "you go accusing someone of cheating or looking to catch them its probably because you are up to know good yourself". That is not always true. The question will always remain the same for me. Why go look? What is so important to "find out" and to constantly look for when you never had a reason to look in the first place? Have you caught that person doing something that they should never be forgiven for? Have they even given you anything to go on? No? OH....

Whenever I think about or hear about an insecure person I always assume their background will tell the story. A background story should never be the "excuse" but it does make it more understandable... Yet and still... what is the point of being with someone who you cant/don't trust?? What exactly are you gaining? Is it out of being comfortable?
Maybe you are so used to someone doing you wrong and not trusting people that you look so you can be justified by some disgusting demented pleasure as to say "aha, i knew you were just like the rest? Maybe?

At this point, here is my opinion on infidelity...
What is done in the dark ALWAYS comes to light. Don't go looking for anything. Let the stuff fall right in your lap and then you deal with it accordingly. I wouldn't freak out and go crazy either. Give the person a chance to explain and be honest (do not say anything to your partner until you have cold hard facts and possibly seen something that you can quote word for word or explain exactly what was seen) People tend to get scared when you are calm as opposed to irrational and angry. You attract more bees with honey than with vinegar. Once the person explains then you can decide whether or not they are worth the time and effort to work things out... To just go looking just because however, is another story.

A relationship is based on trust and communication. If you cannot trust a person how could you possible stay in a relationship with them? What are you gaining? Why invade someone's privacy? Yes, in a relationship there is still privacy. One does not need to know the other's passwords and it is not a rule that one knows the other.

I feel like... If you cant trust your relationship and you don't even know why then you probably don't trust yourself. Maybe you should try being single and finding yourself and getting rid of the turmoil within yourself before you get in a relationship and reek havoc in someone else's  life... That's just rude.

"All I need is a partner
to play spades with the cards up, ALL TRUST"

Men and their wedding rings.

Lately, I have noticed a lot of people getting married. Younger couples are starting to make their own "rules" for their marriages. Whenever I see these couples I noticed that either no one is wearing a wedding ring OR one of them isn't. I always wondered why one isn't... Especially if its the man because it seems when the man doesn't wear his ring the wives seem to dismiss it or they may have an attitude about it but "mums the word" about it. The man always has an excuse like, "it itches" or "it attracts more women" or "I work in a field where i cant wear it" to me it all seems like BS. Truthfully... I don't think that ANY of those reasons are true and if they are why don't women make those excuses? Do women naturally have "non itch fingers" or is the wedding ring a force field around us and no man will talk to us if we wear ours? Or do jobs only allow women to wear their rings and its banned for men? Don't worry, Ill wait for a real reason.... The reason I am asking this and why i am so puzzled about it is because the men that DON'T wear their wedding rings are the SAME EXACT men that would have an entire baby about their wives not wearing theirs. Now correct me if I'm wrong but that's a HUGE double standard. I just want to know the real reason? I know there is that saying where "its not cheating if you don't wear your ring" and i want to know if most men stand by that? I am pretty open-minded and i feel that if a husband can make excuses as to why he should not wear his ring, I would like to know why it IS NOT okay for a wife to do the same? I mean as a husband and wife and everyone who was at your wedding saw you take vows to become husband and wife and that the rings were exchanged AND they said the rings bound you together until death do you part am i right? I feel that whether you're a husband or a wife those rings need to be worn all the time until the end OR no one should have to wear them. One shouldn't be "allowed" and the other "has to". Maybe that's me and my crazy thought process and I don't know any better because I am not yet married. If that's the case let that be the reason, but I know what foul smells like when stench is in the air. This is just food for thought *Shrug* -Major

*Pondering*

I was having a conversation with my friends a few days ago and I had a question that bothered a lot of women we were with… My question was, If a girl and a guy end up getting pregnant and he is all on board… Fully involved with the pregnancy, making sure your comfortable, making sure the baby comes into the world happy, making sure the child isn’t without and everything and you KNOW he is going to be like the greatest father, is there something wrong with him testing the child after they come? Whats so wrong with it? Personally I thought about it and i think in this day and age it is TOTALLY necessary. Would this make another woman feel a type of way? I feel like a lot of women “trick” dudes into taking care of another man’s responsibility. I think its unfair. Is it saying he doesn’t trust you? In my opinion, no. I feel like someone can trust someone but you can never be “too protective” of your OWN neck at the same time. As much as you want to trust someone you HAVE to make sure YOUR taken care of too. This to me doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with that particular female. I feel like its a precaution that men should be able to take. I see nothing wrong with it. Am i wrong?

Lessons

There are five things that you cannot recover in life:(1) The Stone………..after it’s thrown,(2) The Word……………after it’s said,(3) The Occasion……after it’s missed, and(4) The Time………….after it’s gone.(5) A person……………after they die

**UNTITLED**

I used to love you.
But I can’t anymore.
This makes no sense
I’m walking out the door.

I want all my stuff
If you want to fight keep it
If I would have known
That it would come to this.
I would have left a long time ago

Now is not the time to dwell
I can’t allow this to happen again
I consumed myself with you
Maybe even lost who I am
Everything I used to do
Is a thing of the past
Im tired of these circles
Not to mention your lying, cheating, @$$

I can’t take this anymore
I used to love you
I have my bags, don’t try and stop me at the door
From the first time you said hello
I should have said goodbye
You wouldn’t leave it alone
So I decided to give you a try

I guess it’s safe to say
That I made my own bed
Dealing with you in the first place
For allowing you in my head.
I should have been real with myself
I knew you weren’t the one
So now the damage is done.

Time for me to spread my wings
Allow me time to do me
Never will I come back
So please don’t ask
You didn’t want me when you had me
And I know you’re starting to see
You really had something good
And you didn’t treat me like you should

*ShaunaMarie*

*ADDICTED*

Every time I see you my heart melts,
It’s like you light my soul on fire. There is nothing more that I want
I want all of you, mind, body, and soul.
No one looks at me the way you do
It’s been months and…
love is still strong,
I can’t get away from you.
I am moving on
Slowly but surely,

You seem to keep appearing in my life.
Yes, I love you.
No, I don’t want to.
I need to leave you.
Need to flee you.
You’re addicting.
I am

On a drug,

High…..

Off you, no good
For me.
Your love is intoxicating, vigorous,
Yet dangerous, and damaging.
Whenever we touch
Im in love all over again,
I can’t take it but,
I need it….Need you
It hurts but it feels so good.
How do I decide?
Constantly rings in my mind
What’s good… or bad?
Im addicted. I think it’s good
No….Bad
I need to check myself into rehab
Get rid of you….
This disease
I don’t want to quit….I need to quit
I want you, need you.
Want to breathe you.
All the hazardous fumes, I love it
I love you. No, I need you
I’m addicted *ShaunaMarie* 

COPING... HOW??

don’t know very many women who have lost children but i personally know about it. Sometimes i wonder if i am dealing with it appropriately… Like what comes next? Am i coping the right way? What about people who let themselves die right with their child? If your in love with the person you had a baby with and your no longer preparing for parenthood what happens with the two of you? Is the relationship strained or should it bring you closer… This is deep for a mother… This is deep for a father. Especially if the father was just as excited as you are if not more. Where do you go from there?